christmas morn

in the twinkle of lights that may be stars,
in the murmur of voices that may be angels,
in the dark of night that heralds dawn,
in the silence of a heart that dares to dream,

are revealed

a faith that guides through unfamiliar paths,
a hope that strengthens in the depths of despair,
a love that bridges distance and differences,
a peace within that whispers, "wake!"

may you have the grace to realize that you are blessed.

"someday"

sometimes, somedays don't come.
and the dreams of a future we dreamed yesterday
become the dreams of what could have been today;
i do not want to live a life of could-have-beens.



(epiphany 03jun08)

epolsos

sa pagtatapos nagsisimula
ang paglimot ng pagmamahal.
naghihintay,
maghihintay...

sa pagpanaw ng lumbay,
sa pagpawi ng buhay,
sa katapusan ng kahapon,
hanggang ang bukas ay ngayon.



(epiphany 15may08... epekto ng pagpupuyat at pagtetext hanggang madaling araw. hanapin na lamang ang ibig sabihin ng "applesauce" dahil ito'y tugmang tugma sa naisulat.)

dumaluan

sa bawat pag halik ng alon sa pisngi ng dalampasigan, dinig mo ba ang hinagpis ng pusong pagod nang maglakbay? dama mo pa ba ang haplos ng alaala ng dumaang kalungkutan? at handa ka na bang muling mabuhay sa mundong minsan akala mo'y nawalan na ng sayasay?



(epiphany 05may08)

in waking's wake

are daybreak’s dewdrops
morning mist melting singed by sunshining?
or a toddler’s tears trickling at dawn-dream’s dying?


(epiphany 19mar08)

ephemeros

the mind fails; the heart forgets.
memory fades.

that is why beauty,
in its shape-shifting uniqueness,
must be chased and cornered and captured at the crossroads of circumstance and coincidence
at first chance...







because the first chance may be the only chance.

and though what is held captive is but a shadow of beauty,
an echo of perfection,
it will linger—
like the words and melody of a song last heard—
not forever, perhaps,
but longer than morning mist and memory.

(captured 13mar08 at 5:43, 5:52, 5:58, 6:06, 6:11; and 5:44)
(epiphany 17mar08)

waking

scorched by the sun’s touch at break of day,
the vampire retreats into nothingness…
leaving behind dewdrops and birdsong.
and sand.
and half-forgotten remembered images.


(epiphany 13mar08)

μ

are forgotten memories of moments shared still worth keeping? to be treasured still and savored alone like fine dandelion wine at sunset? or should they be swept away into infinite insignificance like cobwebs on the ceiling and dreams before waking?


(epiphany 8mar08)

one-ness

i feel the one-ness when there is a heightened awareness of the interconnection of everything around me, and a deeper awareness of the interconnection of everything within me, a greater awareness of the interconnection between myself and my God.

since my first experience of this one-ness, i have consciously tried to make the most out of every chance and half-chance i got. and, finally, i realized that there are no half-chances, that all chances are chances. because God is in all things. God is all things.

but it is not always easy. sometimes, the one-ness just comes. sometimes, it doesn’t, no matter how hard i try to dispose myself.

but, most of the time, i've noticed that it usually begins with an alignment of experiences. a crucible? a transformation process? i honestly don’t know. its nothing grand or anything, in fact, it’s quite simple. so simple that i’m even embarrassed to waste unlimited cyber-space for it. but i know it has made me, on the whole, a better person. and isn’t that all that counts?

the one-ness usually begins with a triggering event--and since God is all things, doesn’t it also follow that He is in all experiences?

the event can be something so mundanely everyday: like realizing that despite being right-handed, my left has uses, too.

or it can be a once-in-a-lifetime-lifetime-changing experience: like marveling at the majesty of Lourdes in France--there is a “holy”-ness to the place which i cannot begin to describe.

or it can be an experience with people (like the “adios erap” rally before people power II).

or places (like the kai zenkoji temple in yamanashi, japan where i had to walk along a cold and pitch dark corridor in the shape of a heart).

or common experiences viewed in an uncommon way--like watching the sunset, or dancing in the rain, or moon-bathing.

and there is contemplative music and silence: where i become grateful (because of His endless gifts), selfish (where i try to become more honest with myself and ask myself what I really want), introspective (usually a replay of the experience or of other experiences of His love for me), repentant (where i selflessly admit that i am but a work in progress before revisiting my inadequacies), and, lastly, hopeful (where there is a certain “tuning in”… letting Him guide me and show me the way.)

then... i am His flute, with His breath flowing through me. i am His guitar string, unable to vibrate without making a sound.

but in one-ness, i am content. i am happy. i am at peace.

i don't think i am making sense. or maybe i just can't make sense of things.

thus, i continue my journey. i go out that i may hear the Music; and i go in so i may listen to the Tune. it is my Heart i go to find; my God i seek to know better.

malayo pa ang umaga

drama:princess>
ang bawat pagsikat ng araw ay nasa puso. hawiin ang itim na ulap at salubungin ang liwanag. marikit na tala ang siyang gagabay. karimla'y magwawakas pagsapit ng bukas.

ang kadiliman ng gabi ay hindi na maipapawi sa pusong nakalimot na sa kariktan ng sumisikat na araw... pusong nilisan na ng talang nagsilbing gabay, pusong namamanhid na at napapagod nang magmahal.

as i was writing this,
a rey valera song,
a song from the past, a song from childhood,
kept tugging at the edges of my consciousness,
demanding attention,
whispering release:

malayo pa ang umaga,
kahit sa dilim naghihintay pa rin
umaasang bukas ay may liwanang
sa aking buhay umaga ko'y aking hinihintay.

sadya kayang ang buhay sa mundo
ay kay pait, walang kasing lupit
kailan kaya ako'y 'di na luluha?
at ang aking pangarap
ay unti-unting matutupad.

malayo pa ang umaga, 'di matanaw ang pag-asa
hanggang kailan matitiis ang paghihirap ko?
at sa dilim hinahanap
ang pag-asa na walang landas
kailan ba darating ang bukas para sa'kin?
malayo pa ang umaga.

(epiphany 28feb08)

sangandaan

drama:princess>
maligayang paglalakbay sa paraiso ng mga pangarap

saan iyan?
alin ang daanan patungo diyan?

nakatayo, nawawala,
nag-iisa, nag-iisip,
sa gitna ng sangangdaan:
kastilyo ng kalungkutan o palasyo ng pagsisisi?

ang nais ko lang naman
ay marating ang bukangliwayway
at mamasdan ang bukas...
at nawa'y muling madama ang damping halik ng haring araw.


(epiphany 23feb08)

valentines

our tomorrow is uncertain, shrouded in shadow and full of fears. and if that thing we truly fear should come to pass with the coming of tomorrow's dawn, then i would rather spend what's left of today in the comfort of your company... before i sleep, forever, in the ecstasy of your embrace.


(epiphany 14feb08)

elections

it's not about who's the most intelligent nor who's the most charming. it's not about a pretty face nor a promise given. it's not about what they want nor what they think we want.

it's about what they truly believe in and what they stand for. it's about sacrifice and service, commitment and collaboration. it's about the sanctity of our choice and the dream of a better tomorrow.


(epiphany 8feb08)

space-time

cofee break>
when was the last time you had an appointment with space?
the last time you thought of yourself as an entity desperately needing your own time, too?


space and time are concepts
that have lost their meaning.

my space is cramped
with people i have forgotten
and people i need to forget
and my time trickles through today,
like sand in an hour glass,
between yesterday and tomorrow.


(epiphany 2feb08)

middle-earth

sometimes, i want to hold your hand and bring you somewhere... to a place where the sea kisses the shore or where the clouds caress the hilltops... or bring you somewhen, to a time when you still would have gone and when love still promised us a tomorrow.


(epiphany 22jan08)

winged unicorn

sometimes
patronuses
need to be summoned.
because at times,
the darkness
overwhelms
even the light and hope and love we bring
and we become
nothing
but shreds and strands of silver smoke
floating in the foul and fetid frosty air...



(epiphany 19jan08)

failure

frodo baggins' greatest and most telling test didn't lie in his acceptance of the perilous quest to mordor. in the end, it all came down to the casting of the one ring into the fires of mt. doom. he failed that test. miserably.


(epiphany 18jan08)